So this is just a bit of a rant, but I’m feeling it. Sorry. Sometimes you just need a bit of a waffle and a moan. It’s all a little bit tongue and cheek and comes across slightly preachy but try it out anyway! You may get some good songs out of it. This is 100% guaranteed to work! Nah. Sorry, it isn’t. Most likely it will be completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of experiencing the aftermath of a relationship, but try it out anyway! You may get some good songs out of it.
- Write a list of everything you disliked about them during the relationship or in the aftermath of it. No matter how long a relationship it was, there will always be even just 1 or 2 things that bugged you about them. No matter how trivial, it’s these little peeves that can help you think through incompatible parts of the relationship. Be as blatantly selfish and shameful as you want; after all you don’t need to show anybody. Despite what you told him/her throughout the duration of your relationship, there will be a bunch of stuff when you sit down and put pen to paper.
- Watch comedies. Be it a stand-up comedy or a film, sit on the sofa, grab whatever version of comfort foods you like and watch. But nope, not romantic comedies (a notion I struggled with seeing as they are, without a doubt, my favorite genre of film.) Anything which has love or relationships as a direct theme or influence is a big no-no. My top three are Tropic Thunder, The Hangover and Anchorman here. Not the best works of cinema out there but guaranteed to make you laugh. And if you haven’t seen any of those films then stop reading this post, go out and buy them. Now. Go!
- Get the books out. I’m meaning this in both the academically studying sense, and just the ‘read a book and let your mind focus on that for a while’ sense. Personally, I’m a student, and so the mind-numbing pain of remembering facts, figures and all that other good stuff will preoccupy your mind and stop you thinking about them and the relationship. (If that’s what you really want, that is.). By the way, if you really want to get your ex back, feel free to download “Hook Your Ex System” by Steve Pratt (pdf & mp3 files). This book helped many people to fix their relationship. Download now!
- Stop blaming yourself. That is, if you are. If you don’t feel any responsibility for the relationship ending then just sail on to number 5! But if you are, well. It. Is. Not. Your. Fault. The. Relationship. Ended. Relationship’s can end for a whole number of reasons, and unless you were unfaithful to your partner (sorry, I’m calling you out here) it’s not your fault. It may have been a mutual decision, you may have been the ‘dumper’ or the ‘dumpee’, but the relationship ended for a reason and although it will always be a rubbish situation and it will hurt, it really will have been for the best in the long run.
- Delete them from your phone and all social networking sites. This will obviously be more of a personal preference than anything else, and every situation is different so this is more of a general one. It is most likely that you will not end up getting back together with them. And if the two of you decide to remain friends, then that is a bridge that you will cross when it comes to it. As Russel Brand says in Get Him To The Greek (again, a GREAT comedic film) “If she loved me, why did she tear my heart out?” – feelings change and so do people. You’re not a bad person and they’re not a bad person (refer back to earlier, if they or you cheated then yeah, maybe you/they are) but it is what it is. You will have more than one love in your life.
- FLIRT. Flirt with everyone. Guy or girl, who you find attractive or even if there is no attraction whatsoever, flirting feels great. You can decide how far you go with it all, but it’s lovely and it’s fun and it is always a good laugh. A second point to mix in with this step is to GO OUT. Push yourself to go out with your friends when they invite you, throw yourself into situations of meeting new people. It’ll give you something to occupy yourself with, and you never know you might end up finding someone you click with.
- Make a change with yourself. This is probably the one that I would regard as being completely dependent on who you are and what makes you feel good. It doesn’t have to be anything drastic, but making a slight change to your appearance may just help.. A break up is a situation that alters a lot of aspects in your life, more than you’d probably realize, but a change might just make you feel slightly more grounded and in control. For example, my ex got himself a tattoo. I just went to the hairdresser and got my hair dyed a different color. (Obviously not as drastic as the tattoo but it made me feel good)
- Music is great so make a playlist of all the up-beat songs that you love. Whatever genre, whatever makes you feel good and makes you want to dance, and just listen non-stop. A quick thing to note here though is that heartbreak songs are not really advisable here, nor are the ones that were playing during significant moments with your ex. For the first wee while these may be a bit sore to listen to, but in a while you’ll be able to listen to them freely.
Alright, I think I’m done. Hopefully some of you hung on to the end with this, so HI and thanks for reading!
Hook Your Ex System by Steve Pratt